Self-Surgery Lab
A story inspired by China Miéville's "Syllabus."
Self-Surgery Lab
Dr. Helen Crow
MED 1010
Mondays, 2:00–5:00, St. Ignatius Hall
Course Information
This course is a companion to MED 1000, Introduction to Self-Surgery.
Pain, the neurological perception of injury, was the body’s primary harm-avoidance mechanism until the Carmichael’s Disease pandemic of the 2120s. Ever since, humans have lost the ability to feel pain, and its absence means that we experience injury far more frequently (and grievously) than our pre-2120 ancestors did.
As the need for timely medical care exploded, the formerly-fringe field of self-surgery jumped to the forefront of medical research, with new techniques and technologies developing seemingly overnight. Now, with self-surgery equipment and training so widely accessible, there is no excuse for being unable to tend to one’s own injuries (hence MED 1000 and MED 1010’s status as core courses) — it is an essential skill no matter your lifestyle.
For this lab, we will put our knowledge of self-surgery to the test, practicing self-surgery techniques in a safe environment under professional guidance. If you read your textbook and attend the labs, you should pass this course with flying colors.
Learning Outcomes
This course will go over self-treatments for:
Cleaning and bandaging punctures and abrasions
Resetting broken and dislocated appendages
Frostbite
Mild cosmetic reconstructive surgery
Cauterizing hemorrhages
Regrowing lost fingers/toes
What You Will Need:
Introductory Self-Surgery, 3rd Edition, by Dr. Caroline Bennet
A USBSS-approved first-aid kit that is certified for body mass regeneration ≥ 0.005% (I recommend the VeirsMed Silver+ Healing Kit — it’s good enough for this course)
Single-use hyper-absorbent medical towels (you shouldn’t need more than 2 packs)
Please Note
This is a hands-on course — participation is 75% of your grade. Dress in closed-toed shoes and comfortable, bleachable clothing. There will be blood; you will be fine.
I love this!